“Shout out to my friends, your really quite the best”


What a week already. I have been fortunate enough to see lots of mummy friends already this week and share our love of ‘moaning’, because ‘us’ women love nothing better than to moan, right?! I have also managed about 5 full cups of HOT tea, a Costa (where number two kicked off royally) and even painted my toe nails! That is quite some week already!

After having a mummy meltdown on Monday due to a lack of sleep and hormonal hell, things are now much better after talking to my mum friends who don’t pretend parenting is a wonderful walk in the park. It is about as refreshing as a vodka, lemonade and lime (my ‘old’ tipple) to hear the words, “Don’t you just wake up in the morning and think this is shit”. Followed by, “Don’t you look at your partner and hate them for going out to work”. Followed by “Food shopping alone, is my ME time”.

I can relate to all three of those statements, and I hope you can too! Don’t get me wrong, some mornings I wake up so exhausted than when I went to bed so I often feel glad I don’t have to go to work! Especially on days like these lovely sunny ones we have been treated too recently, I am uber grateful that I am on maternity leave and able to do whatever I like with the children. It is however just a few days, where I am uttering, “FML, Kill me now, not this shit again…”.

My week so far started with food shopping at Aldi at 9am on Monday morning, Ugh! But the sun was shining so I was in a good mood, and decided against the baby group so I could instead spend time in the garden with number two and three. Number three, enjoyed commando crawling on the grass in the sun whilst number two enjoyed pissing about with the water butt and kicked off when I said “NO” to him playing with a rusty saw. I no, right? I am evil.

Tuesday was my cleaning day, but I had planned to meet friends in town at Costa. So I rushed around cleaning what I could before I left the house, leaving a baby swing and Toy Story 2 to babysit the little ones. Just as I arrived in town and parked the car number two demanded to walk. I of course gave in for a quiet life, and balanced shopping for a few bits with a huge double buggy which now seemed unnecessary and a very fast Maddox on his Little Life reins. Shopping for cards in WH Smith was a little tricky, he kept saying “Monkey” and pointing at a toy Gruffalo until he spotted “Trickle”. I of course gave in again and purchased one bag of unnecessary mini eggs, just so I could entice him back into the buggy and hurry things up a little.

I thought I would be clever and arrive at Costa earlier than my friends to get a good table and feed two hangry kids. The table and the feeding plan worked well, however amusing one small boy with a bag full of toys did not. It started with a moan that the motorbike he had been playing with had got stuck under the sofa, he banged his head six times on the table trying to retrieve it and he also refused to eat anything shouting “YUCK” at everything that was offered. After about thirty minutes he got my coat and said “Come on mummy, come on”, he was fed up but also very tired after walking everywhere. I resorted to strapping him in the buggy like a terrible mum just so I could finish my half conversation with my friend and gave him his dummy to lessen the moaning! I shit you not, he fell asleep within minutes, that shit never happens! Then Ruby decided she would continue to arch her back and make mummy look all awkward and incompetent. I decided Ruby could join her brother and in the buggy she went! However her acrobatics lately are quite something, so after getting her to bend in the middle, I finally strapped her in and rocked her back and forwards to sleep. By which time, my two childless friends on their precious lunch hour had to get back to work and that was the end of that!

Wednesday, I actually managed a group despite feeling ridiculously tired after another crappy nights ‘sleep’, well…if you can call it that. I met my friend and her little boy at a baby group who is slightly nuttier than my little number two which pleases me somewhat as this kid eats everything at group; from crayons, to playdough and occasionally paint despite having a zillion allergies, he gives his poor mum mini heart attacks everywhere she goes. He is also a climber, one minute he is there and the next minute he is up a book shelf! I love that kid, he does it all with a smile too! After the group I walked to that very healthy shop they call ‘Greggs’, grabbed two sandwiches (the ones in the healthy bit), followed by two lucozades and some doughnuts and headed to my friends. My friends daughter had turned one recently, and I felt we needed to celebrate the fact she was still alive and my friend hadn’t lost her shit completely with some sugar! After a few hours of endless nattering and number two had squashed enough wotsits into the furniture and emptied every toy box, we thought we would leave their house resembling a burglary and go home to a tidy house (for once) with one sleeping child! Winner Winner, it was not chicken for dinner, but chilli.

Which brings me to, today Thursday, it is actually rare that I know what day of the week it is. I only know what day it is by the children’s clubs/activities because I don’t really have a social life of my own anymore but this week, so far, has made me feel like I have. “Shout out to my friends, you re really quite the BEST!” (in a Little Mix singing voice).

Like, comment, please tell me more about your social lives!



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