Who is she? She sounds exciting right? Yep, she is pretty dreamy because she doesn’t actually exist as one whole person. But I long to be her, as I see her all around me. She appears effortlessly fun, she gives me ideas and everyone wants to be around her. Her children appear in awe of her and she somehow keeps throwing new ideas at them and games to try. She is attentive, present and energetic. She is everything I am not.
She is my friend not my enemy, but when I am near her I cant help but feel inadequately boring.
So fun mum, oh fun mum, how can I be like you?
I get so fucked off when I try to be like you?
It is not effortless to be fun.
I am not so energetic like you, I can hardly go for a run!
I am not good at messy play. Or any fun at the farm rolling around in a pile of hay.
I like things all neat and in order. I am just not some crazy craft cupboard hoarder.
I don’t keep the recycling to turn it into, say a bike? although being crafty mum is something id quite like.
If I could be you for a day, I would be more creative about play.
Make believe, I think I can do, but the problem is, I’m just not you.
Are you surrounded by fun mums’? Much more playful than you? Perhaps you are already fun mum! This is not me, however, I think by number three I’m slacking somewhat. Constantly judging myself by the efforts I made with number one. I was much more about the messy play, the educational, but fun games with number one. I didn’t mind all the careful planning, by that I mean trawling of Pinterest and making albums of fun things to do together.
As a working mum of three, things are different now. I had a whole year off with my first child. She had a playroom full of toys just for her. She was spoilt with attention and love and if she wasn’t with me at a group, id try to keep our day at home interesting with some craft type activity, baking or painting. To fill the time I do educational things, phonics, puzzles and even singing. I tried so hard to be perfect, I eventually forgot I was even trying. I just thought that, this was what all mums did at home with their children.
Crazy, because I am simply a shadow of my former self! I don’t try nowhere near as hard with the other two. So number one is lucky, she wont remember fun mum, but I’m pretty sure I documented this through Bragbook as it was known then! Despite my views of how to parent changing over the years, I still feel with my ‘looseness’, that I have become a bit lazy and unattentive! Or maybe, just normal! You decide!
With number two I spend more time worrying and feeling guilty that I am not putting in as much effort as he is too often entertained by Nick Jr and his sister. I made an effort this summer to be ‘fun mum’, and heavily pregnant after 6 weeks this left me exhausted. Again, I thought to myself, why do I try so hard! I do all these crazy activities and take them out and about forgetting to actually enjoy myself and be in the moment! Sometimes I feel it has been a better result to sit back and absorb, as I am always too busy ‘doing’!
Time is flying, and I am more conscious of this as I am watching my last baby grow up : (.
So whilst I’m not on Pinterest much these days, and I seem to get less time for ‘fun’. I still realise its importance to me as a mother, as I don’t want them to remember that I was always to busy cleaning! I think there are some benefits to number two having less prepared play by me, as he is much more self-sufficient and creative in his own way. His nature dictates play is HIS way or no way most of the time, so with him I follow more than I lead. With number one I did most of the leading. Whichever is best I don’t know. But I’m learning to think more about their interests, strengths and abilities where before I just did what I thought looked fun. Mind you everyone likes chocolate crispy cakes don’t they?
So fun mum exists. She is there. She is possibly one of ‘those’ mums. The thing is her likability factor (say that again in a Louis Walsh voice from X Factor) is so, that I think I could be her. So I am not going to lie, I’ll keep on trying! Because every mum is a tryer! But Ill try more to watch, enjoy and absorb, because they wont be this fun forever.