Elf but no shelf

imageOh shit its 21.43 and I’ve just remembered that we promised number one that the elf on the bastard shelf would be arriving tonight! If she wasn’t so excited I don’t think I would of badgered the other half to venture up into the loft at this ungodly hour (I am ready for bed).

Going into the loft is a complicated task, once which needs careful thought and planning, because in this house (well bungalow but I am still calling it a house as I sound about 60 otherwise) stuff sits in an annoying pile in the hallway for many many weeks before eventually making its way up there!

I am not sure what it is about the loft, because its always a ‘weekend job’, yet its not really that difficult to open a hatch and pull a bloody ladder down…well I say this yet I never ever do this, for fear the ladder may drop on ones head! So its a ‘man job’ and I hate saying this because I feel there are no rightful jobs for men or women and that household chores should be equal, despite whose at work blah blah blah. Anyway, I use this phrase when referring to the loft and taking the bins out! Because basically I am shit scared of spiders and the ever so wobbly ladder makes me certain I will fall and break something!

So ‘man job’ it may be,  it is happening right now because otherwise I wont sleep! Now time for me to waste a ridiculous amount of time or what is left of the evening on ‘tinternet’ searching for some unique ideas because we parents are competitive and enjoying displaying such accomplishments on social media. Where to put a bloody elf when we don’t have any such shelf! Bastard Elf.


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